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Showing posts from October, 2012

how to be an invalid [successfully].

-- Rules of Invalidity -- i) Immediately upon determining that something foul has entered your system, lie down. You will not regret taking it easy at the onset of your illness. Exertion of energy can prolong your predicament by a great deal. ii) As soon as possible, enlist the assistance of someone you trust with your life in order to obtain all necessary remedies and aids, as you will not want to be driving all over town trying to pick them up yourself, hurrying so as to make it home in the shortest amount of time possible, to allow for the most amount of time to rest, which only ends up requiring you to run or walk hastily through aisles and parking lots, thereby exerting more energy than is prudent for one in your condition, and possibly even making your symptoms worse.  iii) Guilt and shame (alternately, or simultaneously) the above individual to remain with you for the duration of your illness because you might die, after all, and we wouldn't want you dying alon