silent story | 06.23.2013









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mornings where you feel every second

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Do you know how on the nights before weekends you think how dreamy it'll be to sleep in? How you'll let the sun gently wake you as if it knows what's best for you? I am always conflicted on those nights, because on the one hand I know I've gotten too little sleep the whole week through, inevitably, and the extra sleep will help me to feel rested for the first time in five days; on the other hand, I don't know when enough is enough when it comes to sleep. I never wake feeling rested, regardless of the amount of sleep I've had. And I always wake up regretting not waking up earlier. So weekend mornings are controversial events I get to look forward to about four times per month. What I'd really love to do is wake up early on a morning for which I've pre-planned no obligatory meetings or chores. To linger between the stark white sheets, and scootch over to the cooler side of the bed. That is a clear feeling, cool sheets. Then I'd slide slowly off the ...
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because envy will never fill us up. or, RADICAL SELF-LOVE.

Please, please stop coming up with sugary words to replace “skinny”. If you’re actually going to comment on someone’s weight (as if that were ever appropriate in the first place), just be direct about it. It grieves me to read women commenting on other women’s pictures: “You are so tiny!” “Such slenderness!” “Your delicate frame is gorgeous!” “Look at how small your waist is!” I honestly want to comment back, “Who gives a shit?” or “Why are you making this picture about her weight? This woman is a beautiful creature in so many ways, and all you see are the pounds she doesn’t carry, as if that’s what makes up an admirable enough quality to be worthy of your praise?” But no, really…who gives a shit? I wish someone would tell me that my eyes have a rich and earthy shade of brown. I was born with these eyes, you know. Or that they like the sound my voice makes, or that my comfortableness in my own skin is emboldening, or that they can hear hope on the tip of my tongue. ...
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hunter's moon

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October the 18th | It is the night of the Full Hunter's Moon. There's a party to attend this evening. Shannon is in town. It had been her birthday on the 9th, so she decided to pay Oklahoma a visit. She is radiant and I see her and don't know what to say. What do you say upon seeing a friend from your on fire days, that you haven't truly spoken with in over two and a half years? You say that you don't know what to say, and you look into her beaming eyes and soak up the happiness that has flooded the room. I say it. We'd both had the same idea to plant kisses on each others' cheeks; she beats me to it. She hugs me and holds my hand. A prayer begins the potluck meal. Familiar faces abound and I am overwhelmed with indecisiveness. A few persons seem to vaguely imply that they have no interest in conversation with me, which I brush off and move on from, trying not to be hurt. [Looking back now, it very well could have been {and likely was} I who pushed the...
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