it will happen.

Simplifying. Back to the way things were.

From this week forward, I'll be substituting flats (mini wedges at most) for heels. This decision was not easy. My favorite shoes I own are heels, and now I am denying myself them. My legs could use a better workout, though; the muscles seem to have almost set themselves into the shape my leg makes when a heeled shoe is on my foot, so walking in anything else utilizes a muscle set that hasn't seen action in too long. My combat boots arrived today. They are flat-ish, and caramel-colored.

More flashbacks. At McNellie's, a friend expressed how much he's missed being out, instead of constantly running to and fro without a chance to let loose. "The energy...I love it," he said. I was suddenly prompted to be right there, in that moment. It used to come so naturally. That was before I grew up and had an electric bill.

Somehow the difficulty is lessening...or maybe it's that I'm coming alive to the fact that there is a choice: I don't have to be busy. I will get enough sleep. I will make it to work in the morning. I will get my fashion blog up and running. I will purchase bicycle, camera, etc. But if I become unhappy in the process, what did I gain? More responsibility for these expensive items, and not a moment to love with them.

Life is SO MUCH about being happy. Jesus came to give us life, more abundantly, the whole sh'bang. But what if it's not about the destination to an attempted sense of content, but the adventure-laden journey through? And WHY am I saying these things?! I used to KNOW them, and now I'm trying to re-convince myself. Utterly forgetful. The most important things are at my fingertips every second of every minute.

No more words tonight. Only sighs of relief.

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